pain in the ass

i've just been doing homework for the last week. that's it. aside from going to class and watching the o.c. at 5 o'clock.

every year i slack in the first two months and scramble in the last two. already my butt hurts from sitting for hours on end, just reading and writing and thinking. and my computer plug-in is being finicky so i can't move my laptop around a lot, forcing me to sit in the same spot. i suppose things could be worse.

every november/march is wonder if i will actually survive the semester and every december/april, i do. but not without enough stress to make me physically ill. i'm still waiting for the inevitable stomach cramps.

but this is the last of it. the last semester in a long line of semesters. 19 semesters to be exact.

although i can't help but feeling like my graduation is only the beginning of a long hard run at a difficult career...

the presentation i was working towards this past week was this morning and it went well. there was potential for it to not go well as there are some unstable elements in the classroom. i was presenting on my paper which compares the laws relating to criminal organizations and those relating to terrorism in the criminal code. i've spent a lot of time reading about the hells angels. it was easy to get side-tracked from the topic at hand. here is this organization involved in some awful crimes including 100s of murders but they still insist they are a legitimated motorcycle club. they are currently suing disney for copyright infringement. it's terribly interesting.

one of the unstable elements in the class is an über conservative boy who speaks with such authority on so many topics and has the ability to get me completely worked up. he made a comment today that i couldn't get out of my head all day. i just mentally argued with him for hours but he heard none of it. really, i just have to let it go.

well, back to work. see you in may.

Tibetan Memories

The recent events in Tibet have caused it to be on my mind a lot lately. I taught English there for 6 weeks in the summer of 2002. There were some team tensions but overall it was a really great experience. The city of Lhasa and the people I met there were wonderful.

I have been reflecting on what I saw there in terms of the treatment of the Tibetan people. We were there as teachers and our organization made it clear to us that we shouldn't do anything to jeopardize our present there. So, we didn't ask any questions of our students about the political situation. But, we could still see things going on that pointed to oppression.

We were told not to go our much on the day of the Dali Lama's birthday. There was the potential for protests or demonstrations that could lead to altercations between the Tibetans and Chinese. The day before, as we were walking along a main street in front of the Potala Palace, a huge parade of policemen went by. I'm not very good at guess numbers, but at least 100 officers drove by on motorbikes and in police cars. The apparent message: don't try anything tomorrow, we're here and we're prepared. That was the most obvious display.

When I was in Lhasa, the population was about 50% Tibetan, 50% Han Chinese. There were (are?) incentives from the government for Chinese to move there. A new street had just be redone with a distinctively Chinese feel (neon light palm trees, coloured fountains, pop music blaring) as opposed to a Tibetan feel like at the Barkhor (prayer flags, yak hair, saffron and burgundy). We met a Tibetan man who was unable to get job, aside from the serving one he had at an Western-style bakery, because he did not speak Mandarin. The best English-speaking Tibetan was denied the scholarship reserved for a Tibetan student presumably because of his family connections to the Tibetan government in exile.

Those were small observations. I do not doubt the passion of the Tibetan people to seek independence, or at least greater autonomy. I pray they can send their message loudly but without violence. But I know, sometime that seems like an impossible task.

Hopefully I will be able to return the beautiful city of Lhasa one day. It enchanted me. Despite the team tensions I experienced on that trip, when I look back on it, I remember first and foremost the amazing experience that it was.

Birthday

Today is my birthday.

I have received several nice facebook messages on the subject. Some from people that I never talk to otherwise. This I find a little strange, but the well-wishes are still welcome. So thanks everyone.

A couple days ago I got a little sad and pouty that nothing was planned to celebrate my big leap into the year 2-7. Then I gave myself a reality check and noted that I never (or at least rarely) plan birthday celebrations for other people, heck, you're lucky if you get a "happy birthday" from me, so why should I expect other people to plan things for me. It doesn't mean my friends don't care, it just means that they have other things going on in their lives than to think constantly about me. So, I planned my own little get-together with just a few friends and some crepes. It's tomorrow night and I think it will be lovely.

One of my favourite birthday memories (and my brain only goes back so far so we're only dealing with birthdays that have happened in the last 10 years or so) is of my 20th. I went out for supper with a bunch of friends and then we had an impromptu party in the dorm hallway. Robyn brought over a cake, and I'm pretty sure Marilee was dancing around in rubber boots, and it was fun and crazy and spontaneous. It was so lovely because I just felt an overwhelming sense of love from my friends. That's all, just love, that's what I need.

Another good memory is of my 18th. We were having some financial struggles at the time so my gift from my parents was to cook a 10-course Chinese meal for me and a few friends. It was a lot of work on their part and it was really special for me.

My 19th birthday party brings up some bad memories. I had just come back from Israel a couple days before and I had terrible jet-lag. I was cranky and grumpy and ready for bed by 7:00. Esther got me a random gift and I totally showed my disappointment; something I feel bad about to this day (though I'm sure she's forgiven me). All my friends were really great, but I was really awful.

So, now I'm moving on to my late 20s. Who knows what it will hold. Hopefully there will be lots of love and good friends and not so much of me being terrible.

A Sea of Blue

Wow - Alberta really likes its Conservatives.

I really thought that they would loose seats this election. I guess I wasn't paying attention. They have smashed the competition. I don't think I have ever voted for a candidate that has been successfully elected. And it looks like that isn't about to change any time soon.